superman!

Superman! I'm feeling pretty fucking blue! I miss you and this has been one of the worst days yet! I don't know what to do Daddy! I need a home I need you! Finding a home is way harder than it seems. Not a house, a house is easy to find but I need a home! All in all I need you! Not a home, not a house! I need my daddy! Why can't we just find a home! 1120 that is a home, not a home that I want to live in but how ever it is a home! 245 that is a house that we made a home because of you! Clay county that was a house that all of them were willing to make a home because thats where you wanted to move! Liz might be going into labor, oh the joys! Everyone is gonna be obsessing over that now! Don't get me wrong it is a blessing for the simple fact that every baby is a blessing! But I don't want something new in my life! I just want my old life back the life I had with my daddy going to the sale barns, and living in a shithole, and eating beans potatos and corn bread everynight, and listen to your crap taste in music, and listening to greenday as loud as it will go, and goin to the flea market, and eating pizza hut cause its the onlything everyone would agree on, and me and you washing max! I want all of that back! I want to be able to see johnifer 3 times a week and go over to dallas's 5 times a week and to sit by the fire with you and all of that I want back but I cant have it! why?? Why was it you? Better yet why wasn't it me!? 


What can I do to make this hurt go away? What can I do to make everyones heart stop hurting? What can I say to make everyone realize that I'm not a kid? You understood that! I want to paint my room 9million different colors with you or go sit by the lake with you or go back in the woods and shoot with you! why can't i have that? why cant i be a normal 15 year old that has there daddy there? well dad imma go cause i gotta go down stairs! i'll write you  later! i love you daddy never for get that! your my superman your my light on my dark days your my inspertion your my hero! i love you daddy! i dont know if there is sleep in heaven but if so sweet dreams my beautiful daddy i miss you!


<3always! forever and always daddys little boy!