Saturday, October 27, 2012
i dont wanna do this.
Daddy im growing up and this shit sucks. i dont wanna do it with out yu. and i do everything i can to make yu proud i want yu to be able to look down and smile and tell everyone thats my little girl and look what she has made of her self. i want yu to be able to be proud of the life i make for my self. but i honestly dont know how well im gonna do. not a day goes by that i dont miss yu and wish yu were here. not a moment goes by that i dont wanna hug yu. not an hour goes by that i wish i could just pick up the phone and hear your voice. i miss yu. and i really wish yu was here. dallas's little girl is perfect her name is emmalee & she was born sep. 19th at 12:53 pm. she is the best baby ive ever met. well imma go love yu & miss yu
Saturday, August 25, 2012
broken.....
Why Daddy?? Why do I always give them the ability to crush my whole world in to pieces when they never give a damn!! I really wish I could talk to you. I miss you it's been 11 months and 3 days! I haven't seen your face or heard you voice! Why am I so stupid? Why did I think he would ever give a damn about me? Your little girl is broken once again. it's like no one gives a damn how I feel or what goes on in my head! Mom don't care. Apparently Monster don't give a flying fuck! Ugh Daddy I don't know what to do. And I really, really, really, really, really miss you! It's like I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't!!!!!! Why can't we just skip the teenage years?? The parties are not worth all the heart break that come with them.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
she trying to send me away.....
daddy,
well guess who moved into the apt. jackie! gross!!
mom is trying to make me go to job corps. but i swear to you its nothing but niggers!
brigette is mad at me and wants me to move in with her so she has a free baby sitter. fuck that!
elizabeth hasnt talked to me in months!
grandma is mad at me cause i got pissed when i found out that scum was living in our house!
but on the bright side. i took what i thought was a pre test for my GED today... but it was the real test and i passed. its 432.00 to get it. but i doubt mom will do it! shes about a dumb bitch! i guess i will just wait til i turn sixteen to go get it here in carrollton.
i have done nothing but cried all day. i miss you and i just wish i could talk to you. i wish i could tell you all of my problems and you be able to answer and fix all of them. i wish i could hear your voice and see your face. i wish everything was back to normal. i wish that you could wipe away my tears and heal my broken heart.
well imma go and goto bed. i love you good night and sweet dreams my beautiful daddy.
xoxoxoxo your little girl.
well guess who moved into the apt. jackie! gross!!
mom is trying to make me go to job corps. but i swear to you its nothing but niggers!
brigette is mad at me and wants me to move in with her so she has a free baby sitter. fuck that!
elizabeth hasnt talked to me in months!
grandma is mad at me cause i got pissed when i found out that scum was living in our house!
but on the bright side. i took what i thought was a pre test for my GED today... but it was the real test and i passed. its 432.00 to get it. but i doubt mom will do it! shes about a dumb bitch! i guess i will just wait til i turn sixteen to go get it here in carrollton.
i have done nothing but cried all day. i miss you and i just wish i could talk to you. i wish i could tell you all of my problems and you be able to answer and fix all of them. i wish i could hear your voice and see your face. i wish everything was back to normal. i wish that you could wipe away my tears and heal my broken heart.
well imma go and goto bed. i love you good night and sweet dreams my beautiful daddy.
xoxoxoxo your little girl.
best friends and babys...........
My dearest daddy,
whats up? everything is pretty good here. dally is pregnant but i guess you already know that.
we have been through thick and thin me and that girl! when we met i didnt think we would ever be this close. but we have been thru everything. from death to sickness to baby goats to tellin duane she was pregnant to laughing to crying and so much more. its only been 5 and a half months but it feels like forever!
I miss you. i wish i knew 6 months ago what i know now. then you would be here. its almost been 5 months since ive talked to you. over 120 days. why did that happen?
in one month i will be 16 wow. i should be getting my GED soon. and then i wanna goto school for cosmetology :) welp dally just got home so imma go i love you daddy
<3your baby girl
whats up? everything is pretty good here. dally is pregnant but i guess you already know that.
we have been through thick and thin me and that girl! when we met i didnt think we would ever be this close. but we have been thru everything. from death to sickness to baby goats to tellin duane she was pregnant to laughing to crying and so much more. its only been 5 and a half months but it feels like forever!
I miss you. i wish i knew 6 months ago what i know now. then you would be here. its almost been 5 months since ive talked to you. over 120 days. why did that happen?
in one month i will be 16 wow. i should be getting my GED soon. and then i wanna goto school for cosmetology :) welp dally just got home so imma go i love you daddy
<3your baby girl
Saturday, February 11, 2012
peace love and baby goats! :)
My dearest Daddy,
we got 2 new baby goats today :)) bubba and sheba they are lamaunchas(sp) and then we have punkin whos name was marley :))
we got 2 new baby goats today :)) bubba and sheba they are lamaunchas(sp) and then we have punkin whos name was marley :))
Friday, February 10, 2012
never grow up......
Daddy,
In 1 month and 4 days I will be 16, a happy point in life right? Not for me, I cant help but to wish I was turning 6 instead of 16. If I was 6 i would have 9 more years with you, maybe even longer if i knew what i know now.
16 dad damn! I'm growing up so fast. it feels like i havent talked to you in forever. i try not to be weak and cry. but its hard daddy. ive never been good at keeping from crying. theres been night when ive cried my self to sleep. i dont like not being able to talk to you. i wanna call you and tell you everything.
I wish I never had to grow up I wish I never had to see the day that superman flew away.
Why did you have to die so young? why couldnt you have just waited until you were 80 or 90 or 150?
In 1 month and 4 days I will be 16, a happy point in life right? Not for me, I cant help but to wish I was turning 6 instead of 16. If I was 6 i would have 9 more years with you, maybe even longer if i knew what i know now.
16 dad damn! I'm growing up so fast. it feels like i havent talked to you in forever. i try not to be weak and cry. but its hard daddy. ive never been good at keeping from crying. theres been night when ive cried my self to sleep. i dont like not being able to talk to you. i wanna call you and tell you everything.
I wish I never had to grow up I wish I never had to see the day that superman flew away.
Why did you have to die so young? why couldnt you have just waited until you were 80 or 90 or 150?
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
te amo papi...
Daddy,
You know I wonder all the time, what would you be doing today if you were still alive.
Would you be at work? Would we live in alabama? Would we be chillin in carrollton?
Would mom act different? Would I be at dallas's today?
What would have happened daddy? I try not to overthink it but damn dad. This isn't fair. I only had 15 short years with you. I don't feel cheated. Because I got to spend 15 years with you. I just dont understand why it happened. You were supposed to walk me down the aisle at my weeding. You were supposed to be there when I have kids, to hold them, to love them. My kids might not get to know you as there poppa but they will know you as my daddy. This I promise you. I will tell them about you everyday.
Daddy i'm sick of crying. I'm sick of feeling like there is a piece of me missing. Where are you daddy? why did you have to go? Why did god take you. Why did that dirty mother fucker hit you? I hope your taking care of Bob. I told him if he died that the goat man would take care of him. I hope you are.
Why do bad things happen to good people? You did nothing wrong. Paw paw did nothing wrong and god is making him suffer. Why???
well daddy imma go i gotta go feed. i love you daddy and i miss you. everyday for the rest of my life. :) <3 always your baby girll!
You know I wonder all the time, what would you be doing today if you were still alive.
Would you be at work? Would we live in alabama? Would we be chillin in carrollton?
Would mom act different? Would I be at dallas's today?
What would have happened daddy? I try not to overthink it but damn dad. This isn't fair. I only had 15 short years with you. I don't feel cheated. Because I got to spend 15 years with you. I just dont understand why it happened. You were supposed to walk me down the aisle at my weeding. You were supposed to be there when I have kids, to hold them, to love them. My kids might not get to know you as there poppa but they will know you as my daddy. This I promise you. I will tell them about you everyday.
Daddy i'm sick of crying. I'm sick of feeling like there is a piece of me missing. Where are you daddy? why did you have to go? Why did god take you. Why did that dirty mother fucker hit you? I hope your taking care of Bob. I told him if he died that the goat man would take care of him. I hope you are.
Why do bad things happen to good people? You did nothing wrong. Paw paw did nothing wrong and god is making him suffer. Why???
well daddy imma go i gotta go feed. i love you daddy and i miss you. everyday for the rest of my life. :) <3 always your baby girll!
Friday, February 3, 2012
smurfs and baby goats!
My dearest Daddy.
I miss you so much. You are always on my mind. I have wanted to call you so many times today. Here are some of the things i wanted to tell you.
We got 2 baby goats from thos gay dudes off of coles lake rd today.
We named them bob and marley.
We had to goto tractor supply today and I saw the smurf! ;)
παππού πήραμε κάποια ζιζανίων. Καπνίζει την κόλαση έξω από αυτό.
Johnifer don't talk to me anymore. I really dont know what I did wrong daddy.
Paw paw is not doing very good. They have giving him 6 months to a year now.
Bob isn't doing very good either. Daddy please whatever you can do help him get better. your the goat man daddy. you can help. please give the the strength and knowledge to help this baby. he is only a day old. and its got dallas tore up. you already took johnny dammit!
I didnt think i would ever be able to go a day with out talking to you and its been 4 months now. i wish i could hear your voice. i wish i could talk to you. i wish you could hold me and wipe away my tears. i wish i didnt have a reason to cry. and i wish you was hear daddy. i love you sweet dreams my beautiful angel with the golden sparkley wings!
well daddy imma go. i love and miss you dont ever forget that.
I miss you so much. You are always on my mind. I have wanted to call you so many times today. Here are some of the things i wanted to tell you.
We got 2 baby goats from thos gay dudes off of coles lake rd today.
We named them bob and marley.
We had to goto tractor supply today and I saw the smurf! ;)
παππού πήραμε κάποια ζιζανίων. Καπνίζει την κόλαση έξω από αυτό.
Johnifer don't talk to me anymore. I really dont know what I did wrong daddy.
Paw paw is not doing very good. They have giving him 6 months to a year now.
Bob isn't doing very good either. Daddy please whatever you can do help him get better. your the goat man daddy. you can help. please give the the strength and knowledge to help this baby. he is only a day old. and its got dallas tore up. you already took johnny dammit!
I didnt think i would ever be able to go a day with out talking to you and its been 4 months now. i wish i could hear your voice. i wish i could talk to you. i wish you could hold me and wipe away my tears. i wish i didnt have a reason to cry. and i wish you was hear daddy. i love you sweet dreams my beautiful angel with the golden sparkley wings!
well daddy imma go. i love and miss you dont ever forget that.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
daddy....
so i logged into booksie and i saw something really cool. well 2 things.
first: i saw a novel about powwows so i msged the girl and now we are kinda talkin back and forth about powwows. its pretty cool.
and second. did you know about the seven heavenly virtues?? there pretty cool. i didnt know about them until just then.
this guy from texas said something to me the other day and it has really stuck in my head. he said if your ever missin your daddy darlin just look in the mirror and smile cause your lookin at his pride and joy his princess his baby girl. and that has really helped me cause i can be feelin down and ill think about that and know that he is right. i am your princess! and i will always be cause guess what bitches im peter kassars's daughter. you can get me down you cant hurt me cause you will have one pissed off ghoast on your ass. lol i love you daddy and i miss you sooooooooo much.
so i have a new motto on life. i dont give a fuck anymore so i say/do something that someone dont like and they bitch me out imma be like... what are you gonna do go tell my daddy. keep people from talkin shit. well imma get off of here i love and miss you pops. <3always your little girl.
first: i saw a novel about powwows so i msged the girl and now we are kinda talkin back and forth about powwows. its pretty cool.
and second. did you know about the seven heavenly virtues?? there pretty cool. i didnt know about them until just then.
this guy from texas said something to me the other day and it has really stuck in my head. he said if your ever missin your daddy darlin just look in the mirror and smile cause your lookin at his pride and joy his princess his baby girl. and that has really helped me cause i can be feelin down and ill think about that and know that he is right. i am your princess! and i will always be cause guess what bitches im peter kassars's daughter. you can get me down you cant hurt me cause you will have one pissed off ghoast on your ass. lol i love you daddy and i miss you sooooooooo much.
so i have a new motto on life. i dont give a fuck anymore so i say/do something that someone dont like and they bitch me out imma be like... what are you gonna do go tell my daddy. keep people from talkin shit. well imma get off of here i love and miss you pops. <3always your little girl.
Monday, January 23, 2012
4 months and 1 day.....
Daddy i miss you. But whta new about that. Its days like these that i wish i could talk yo you.
Mom has turned her back on me. And i am goin to dallas's today cause im not gonna turn my back on the. Paw paw is really sick.
Jerry and lyda have made it very clear that if 245 is not cleaned up by feb 14 they are going to forclose.
Monkey is having another litter of kittens. Honey is sick and gator is in heaven with you.
Banjo and charlie are doin good at dallas's house.
They are comin to pick me today seeing how mom will not take me. But my family needs me so i found a way to go. Since you have died they have stepped up and filled some of the gaps in my life tryin to make me a much of a 15yr old litte girl as i can be. They do not try to take your place just try to help your little girl try to get thru her teenage years as best as possible.
I will be 16 in less than a month and a half. Scary huh. Your little girl is not so litte anymore but i promise no matter what ill always be your baby. Come hell or high water.
I am peter kassars 3's daughter and im damn proud of it! And if anyone says anything about you they better run and hide. Yeah im kinda followin in your shoes but i dont regret it.
Boo's baby is already 3lbs 15oz and he is not due until april.
Whatever grandma cooked in the kitchen smells like ass and onions. Kinda makin me sick to my stomach.
You know what the one thing that will sick with me for the rest of my life that you used to say all the time? Never look down on someone that is lower than you weather it be in food or money or what ever it be. Because you neverr know one day that might be us.
You know when maw maw called and tod me that i needed to come home that paw paw only had 3months to live i held it togeather as i taked to her but as soon as i hung up the phone i lost it. Why do bad things happen to good people? He has done nothing wrong. Just like paw paw pete and you y'all did nothing wrong.
I can get insurence(sp) ones i turn 16 and i can finally get my teeth fixed.
Oh damn daddy tomorrow josh will be dead for 6 years. Damn time flys it feels like yesterday he took me to the gas station for my 8th bday and got me a lotto ticket in that little s10 pickup he had and then we went down newmen ellis at about 80. Well i always liked to think we was goin that fast we was probably only goin 50.
I got on youtube the other day and started lookin up handdrum songs. It brought me comfort. I miss singin with you. Its not the same by myself. But then again nothing is the same. Well imma gey off here i love and miss you daddy.
<3always forever and always daddys little girl
Mom has turned her back on me. And i am goin to dallas's today cause im not gonna turn my back on the. Paw paw is really sick.
Jerry and lyda have made it very clear that if 245 is not cleaned up by feb 14 they are going to forclose.
Monkey is having another litter of kittens. Honey is sick and gator is in heaven with you.
Banjo and charlie are doin good at dallas's house.
They are comin to pick me today seeing how mom will not take me. But my family needs me so i found a way to go. Since you have died they have stepped up and filled some of the gaps in my life tryin to make me a much of a 15yr old litte girl as i can be. They do not try to take your place just try to help your little girl try to get thru her teenage years as best as possible.
I will be 16 in less than a month and a half. Scary huh. Your little girl is not so litte anymore but i promise no matter what ill always be your baby. Come hell or high water.
I am peter kassars 3's daughter and im damn proud of it! And if anyone says anything about you they better run and hide. Yeah im kinda followin in your shoes but i dont regret it.
Boo's baby is already 3lbs 15oz and he is not due until april.
Whatever grandma cooked in the kitchen smells like ass and onions. Kinda makin me sick to my stomach.
You know what the one thing that will sick with me for the rest of my life that you used to say all the time? Never look down on someone that is lower than you weather it be in food or money or what ever it be. Because you neverr know one day that might be us.
You know when maw maw called and tod me that i needed to come home that paw paw only had 3months to live i held it togeather as i taked to her but as soon as i hung up the phone i lost it. Why do bad things happen to good people? He has done nothing wrong. Just like paw paw pete and you y'all did nothing wrong.
I can get insurence(sp) ones i turn 16 and i can finally get my teeth fixed.
Oh damn daddy tomorrow josh will be dead for 6 years. Damn time flys it feels like yesterday he took me to the gas station for my 8th bday and got me a lotto ticket in that little s10 pickup he had and then we went down newmen ellis at about 80. Well i always liked to think we was goin that fast we was probably only goin 50.
I got on youtube the other day and started lookin up handdrum songs. It brought me comfort. I miss singin with you. Its not the same by myself. But then again nothing is the same. Well imma gey off here i love and miss you daddy.
<3always forever and always daddys little girl
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